Looking across the plain.Searching. Seeking.
Thinking the thoughts of tomorrow that will soon become today. It is now that I realize where I am.
My imagination...
Too late! I've reached the epicentre of insanity - or maybe true reality.
I can see the white light.
Gone to green and blue and orange and yellow and purple and red. All diffused- thrown against my lids. This is different every time I come here yet somehow, somewhere, there is the Key. It will unlock for me the labyrinth, the journey's end.
Sound. Vibrations. There is the jutting toll of the mortal's metronome - keeping pace and keeping time - seduced away like the tiny atom - so powerful yet so unnoticed...
I have reached another dimension. Light, (diffused) Colours Sound Vibrations. They are all mixed, entwined into each other. Thoughts, ideas, and yes, Feelings...
The storm has broken, the earthquake reduced to rubble.
I can relax... Still I search and seek.
Spinning past me are ideas - bliss, madness, vulnerability, loneliness, shame.
Further away I can see other ideas spinning past and away from me. "Self" spins in a complicated double helix pattern. "Love" seems to be spinning around "happiness" like a moon around a planet. They fly past and I lunge for them. Maybe they contain the Key. I miss. I then bend low as an idea squirms through between my legs. I grasp for it.
I have it!
It is the word "Despair." Instantly my mind focuses on the object.
Why is my heart and mind pierced like the lance of a Black knight in a joust?
Heat flows up my arm, searching for my brain. I cannot let its claws strangle my thoughts. Despair builds up inside of me. I must react! Quickly.
The centre of my being reacts to my thought. Pulses of energy travel down my spinal cord, into my shoulder, stretching down into my arm. I watch them travel down my spinal cord and again into my arm...I watch them travel down as despair gropes higher and closer. I see electron pushing electron. Finally, is it too late? I see my reflexes take control of my hand and the word "despair" is flung out of my grasp. I watch the idea as it continues on its journey into the revolving mass of eternity, its path now undisturbed by unequal forces - Its energy has been released.
.....Slowly my body once again responds to thought. Looking down I feel a tugging at my ankle. I must take the chance. Picking it up, grasping it like an ivory dagger, I read the word REALITY.
Like a maiden smelling of jasmine - an elixir of hope, I stretch open my eyelids. Pure flaming sunlight engulfs my senses.
I have returned to reality at last...
(c) Kurt Gosling, November 2, 1989
