I live in a househole that is a little chaotic. Not that my family is mean. But, we grew up with a that's mine kind of shut up attitude. Now, I am realizing that I don't reall ylike this.
But, because I am saving up money to buy a house next year. I just need to stick it out 9 more months.
I have decided to put my daughter into daycare, even though my mother does watch her. But, I am doing this because I do't want my daughter to pick up any bad traits. Like rushiness and saying shut up all the time.
I work monday through friday 8:30 am to 5:00 pm so I am not here during hte weekdays. I usualy take my daughter somewhere in the aftrenoon to a park or something.
My problem is, I am starting to notice whenever I am around my mother I get this energy that is chaotic like I am in always in a need to get everything done.
My mother is also a little bi=polar and obeesice compulsive. Not that she is a bad person. My father is always nagging to, but he is usually at work or outside or downstairs sleeping.
My problem is, I feel I need to toatlly shut her aura off from mine. It's like it feeds off my energy and I feel drained after I am with her even for a mere couple minnutes. Even after she leaves a room.
How, can I shut her aura off from mine? I mean is there any meditation where we can block our auras. I know it can be done. I am just needing help with trying to find a meditation.
I only have 9 more months to go. In those 9 months I will be completely debt free.
I also noticed that I was so use to being negative around her taht I am prone to raising my voice nad yelling. I know it is my fault too for they way I act, but I really want to work on this stopping, so maybe I can learn how to avoid confrontations.
She really just wants to help people and I love her dearly. I just need to focus on a way to relax around her. Listen to her without getting annoyed.
When I come around her that is like the first thing that I do. I get irritated and annoyed. Because, she is so rushy and compulsive. But, she is lonely because she got in a car accident and she can't work. She doesn't really get out, and I know her reaching out to me is for her trying to find someone she can talk and relax with.
I understand that. But, it is my fault for the way I act and I need to find a way to calm down around her and to also stop yelling. My mother also has a naturally loud voice and she is a HUGE extrovert and I am a quiet person and a HUGE introvert.
I would like advice on this. I really want to change and bbecome more relaxed. But, I also want to cut her aura off from mine. So that I don't get drained from being around her so much. So I can tolerate her more.
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