I am a 26 year old mother of two originally from New Jersey and presently living in Georgia. I would like to tell you a story about a very important man in my life. He is my grandfather. When I was a child, unbeknownst to me, my Pop-pop kept me from being adopted out. My mother was a single mother in the early 70's and did not have a place of her own. She did not have a well paying job. With all these obstacles stacked up against her, she decided it would be best to have me put up for adoption. This wonderful man told her that it would not be done. If she had to stay with him and he watch me, that is what would be done, but he would not let me become another statistic. When I was 9 years old, due to a situation that was out of my mother's control, she fled New Jersey with my sister, brother, and myself, leaving my precious Pop-pop behind. It would be years before I saw him again.In 1985, my family and I went up to New Jersey to visit my grandfather. He had been diagnosed with leukemia. He had had several operations in where they had to amputate his toes and legs due to blood clots in his legs. This was to be the last time that we were to see our Pop-pop in somewhat fair condition. He may have been bound to a wheelchair, but he still got around. On December 8th, 1989, my mother, my siblings and I went for a trip up to New Jersey for a one week 'vacation'. It turned out to be one of the most life changing weeks of my life. We left Georgia early in the morning on the 8th and arrived in New Jersey early afternoon the following Saturday. We were all very tired from the trip, but the excitement of being around family again kept us awake. It was not until later that evening that I actually got a chance to talk to my Pop-pop face to face for the first time in years. He seemed like a totally different man. But he let me know one important fact during this conversation. He was not alone. The Sunday after we arrived, we had a birthday party for my Nana, whose birthday was the following day (Monday), but we held the party on Sunday because everyone had to work on Monday. We were staying at my Aunt Kathy's house while in New Jersey, and at 6:00 in the morning on Monday, Nana's birthday, Nana called to tell me that I needed to get my mother and aunt out of bed. Pop-pop was not waking up. I rushed to the bedrooms and told them and they got dressed and left to go see my Pop-pop. We stayed behind with our stepfather. This next part I will never forget. At exactly 1:00 that afternoon, after countless hours of wondering and waiting, my mother called and simply said that we needed to come and say goodbye to our Pop-pop. I remember the utter feeling of loss at that particular moment, and as I turned to look out the kitchen window with tears of pain and grief running down my cheeks, the first snowfall of '89 fell in New Jersey as those tears came down my face. This experience taught me that death is a peaceful state of mind, not something to fear. And death is also as peaceful as new falling snow. It also helped me to realize that Pop-pop was not alone when he passed on. He had his whole family with him, and I believe in my heart of hearts that he waited for his whole family to be there before he saw it fit to leave this world. I love him and miss him dearly, but everytime I see new snow falling, I think of him and smile. Why we are looking for them:Made me unafraid of the process of dying and the importance of family.
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