Date: 10/16/2004 7:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 7952
I believe the age should be 15/16 .. depending on how mature they are and what kind of people they hang around with.  |
Date: 10/16/2004 7:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 36766
I think 15 is a good enough age to let her start having some freedom.  |
Date: 10/16/2004 7:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 49348
lol umm it may be because im from aus and in a rural area, but my parents where letting my fly 50 mins (4 hours by car) away with mates (no parents) and stay in aussies biggest city at the age of 15... I think if you let the trust thing have a trail for a little while why the younger, and they keep to there word and dont break the trust, it will be easyer for both partys to let go when they are say 16-17... thats just my ideas :) and im only 17 so yeah lol  |
Date: 10/16/2004 7:42:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 14780
Im just not used to the idea of letting her run around with her friends without supervision. Its the other kids I worry about...LOL...Does that make sense?  |
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Date: 10/16/2004 7:43:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 14780
Corey that is a good point about trust. thank you. |
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Date: 10/16/2004 7:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 49348
np katsho.. i would hate to be a parent and make those kinds of choice... it would freak me out. |
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Date: 10/16/2004 7:47:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 14780
What about all those "parties"? Im not old..I know what happens..LOL.... |
Date: 10/16/2004 7:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 1799
around age 16, depending on how much maturity and responsibilty they show.. i started getting more freedom around then. i'm 17, almost 18, now and my mom knows that i'm not going to lie about where I'm going and whatnot, so I have a lot of freedom on going out with people and just hanging. i believe i'm one of the few kids who doesn't really have a specific curfew.  |
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Date: 10/16/2004 7:51:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 14780
Emi, thank you...Im really glad that I can get input from you guys. |
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Date: 10/16/2004 8:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 36766
It makes sense, lol. From the way you described her, she seems like she has a good head on her shoulders & wouldn't do anything stupid, like if her friends wanted her to take some drugs or drink, she would know better than to go ahead & do it. But just to be on the safe side, get her a cell phone (if she doesn't already have one), that way if she happens to get into one of those bad situations, she can call home for someone to go pick her up. |
Date: 10/16/2004 8:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 15675
LOL Katsho I was hopin for a bit more 'teenagers today' talk but okay I'll bite :p! Well I've kinda always been allowed to do my own thing seeings how my parents suck...at 6 for example me and my then 4 year old sister would play while mom worked and dad slept (he worked nights...smart huh?)...and heck I had to get her breakfast and everything! But *technically* I was doing on my own bout 13...we lived with dad and he was always working or 'out' so me and my then 11 year old sister would go shop around, ride our bikes to various stores, go 'skating' (*the* thing for preteens), and have friends over with ya no supervision. Pretty much from then on we were both allowed to run around town (and not a small town either) and would be left alone half or all night.
In short I'm just use to it...I'm 17 and Grandma though here, let's me go where I please as long as I tell her where and when I may be back. The cell phone helps a lot too!  |
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Date: 10/16/2004 8:05:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 14780
I would love to get her a cell phone but they do cost money...I dont even have a cell phone. It would ease my mind for sure but she would have to help with the cost of paying for one. Just like she will be paying her car insurance next year. It is a thought and maybe a trac phone would be more convenient for emergencies. :) |
Date: 10/16/2004 8:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 3688
i was 15 when i was allowed to go out with other teens who had a car, I did however have a very strict curfew and I knew if I wasn't where I said I'd be I was one dead little chica :)  |
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Date: 10/16/2004 8:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 15675
virginmobile.com that stuff is perfect! It's 25 cents a minute for the first 10 minutes of every day then just 10 cents for the rest of the day...no worse then a pay phone in my eyes. And you only have to pay $20 into your account every I think 3 months. That's what I got and though I bought the first stuff on my own Grandma (who eats my minutes LOL!) helps a little now. |
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Date: 10/16/2004 8:10:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 14780
Kaja, I will definately check that out..thank you! |
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Date: 10/16/2004 8:11:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 14780
LOL Dreamer, I think she knows that one for sure or she wont be leaving the house till shes 18! *giggles* |
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Date: 10/16/2004 8:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 36766
Yeah, a trac phone would work. There's an idea for a christmas present :) |
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Date: 10/16/2004 8:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 15675
welcome :) |
Date: 10/16/2004 8:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 60685
Well, I'm not a teenager anymore, but personally I was allowed to go out with my friends being as young as 12 years old, given there would have to be a grown up watching over us we would go to movies, have house parties and more. At around 14 our parents would drop us off at the mall or movies and later pick us up, it was a big group and although the guys were the biggest goofs they would watch over us girls, or was it the other way around, can't remember, lol. From what I've seen from some of my friends is basically that those that were given too much rope ended up partying too much, those that weren't allowed to go out snuck around so here comes the tricky part, you gotta learn to have a balance and so far you seem to have it down, in my case my mom trusted she did a good job raising me so she gave me liberty to go out in my teen years as long as she knew the when, where and who with. Gotta say not everything was perfect, my mom had a meltdown when I turned 18 and made lots of use of today's ball and chain, the cellular.  |
Date: 10/16/2004 8:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 17081
My daughter turned 15 today. She went to a school dance today. She isn't making any moves towards letting go yet. She doesn't date. She is somewhat mature, but not fully able to take control of her life yet. I just dread the day when she comes home with a boyfriend.  |
Date: 10/16/2004 8:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 37843
It really depends on the maturity level of the teenager. I was allowed to go out w/ my friends as soon as I got my license (I was one of the first of my friends to get my license) but the rule was that I always had to have my cellphone and it had to be on with the battery atleast half charged. I didn't really have a curfew but my mom wanted to know what time I would be home, if it was gonna be later I had to call, its the same w/ my lil brother (he is 17 now).  |
Date: 10/16/2004 8:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 55386
I'm 14, and I can stay out till I'm 11, go where ever I want, as long as my parents know, and errm, when I drive, I expect I'll be able to do what I want since I'm getting my own car for my 16th b-day.  |
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Date: 10/16/2004 9:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 1799
on the issue of parties: this depends on how much you trust her judgement. if you know she will make smart decisions, then let her go.. but make sure to give her warnings.. my mom always tells me that if i drink at a party, she wants me to call home for a ride, or if a friend drinks, i don't get in the car with them. i'm sure she'd be a bit upset with me, but she trusts my judgement that i won't do anything extremely stupid. i might act like an idiot and do some weird things, but she knows i won't do anything life threatening. just have talks with her before parties, find out where she'll be, whose going to be there. ask if there will be alcohol or drugs, and remind her that she doesn't need to do that. normal mum stuff. |
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Date: 10/16/2004 9:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 55386
Also, about parties, hehe. My mom again, doesn't care, as long as she knows where I am, and I don't really like parties myself....My mom trusts me a lot on my judgement....Mostly 'cause I'm a homebody lol. |
Date: 10/16/2004 9:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 53054
Well I think that 15 is a good age for her to start going out and having a little more freedom....I was around 14 or 15 when I started going out, however I was a 'bad' teenagers as most people would put it and often didnt tell my parents where I was actually going out too...I know its naughty! I started going out to parties when i was 15 and even went with a group of friend to a big show when i was 15...I was hanging around with people who were older than me, which meant that I was around the alcohol and drugs at that age, however my parents trusted me not to be stupid....now that i am 18 i am allowed to go whereever I want...also mind you i have been too 2 different countries, and am now staying in one of those countries alone, and i only turned 18 like 2 months ago...cell phones are good, and having a time when she should be home by is also good, however if she is going to a party or something and she wants a little more time then maybe you 2 should talk about what time would best suit...its hard to let go sometimes, however you will always be her mother...*hugz* good luck!  |
Date: 10/16/2004 10:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 2734
Katsho, no matter what the parties, boyfriends, tough and tempting situations that your daughter will encounter, nothing short of chaining her will stop her from experiencing life. By knowing where she is, and knowing who she is with, it could only help to negate negative behavior. Remember, in 4-5 years, you will be the smartest person in the world.
I was allowed many freedoms. My parents asked me where I was going. I told them, "to a party." They would say to me..."We do not condone drinking, if we find out, you will be in trouble." "BUT you will be in less trouble if you get into a situation where you or a driver is impaired, you will have less of a penalty if you call us to pick you up." They said that if you call, it will save us from finding you...and we will...and you will be punished far less for your honesty than a lie.  |
Date: 10/16/2004 11:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 62146
graduly give em freedom as they get a bit older.  |
Date: 10/16/2004 11:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 61966
I don't know about parties but I'm 16 now and when I was 15 my parents started giving me more freedom..I was allowed to go out with my friends and go to the movies and that sort of thing and I wasn't allowed to go anywhere with my boyfriend until recently. It's always hard for parents to let us go but you have to realize..we aren't babies forever. :)  |
Date: 10/17/2004 2:51:00 AM
From Authorid: 42945
it's very hard letting go Katsho..I know exactly how you are feeling hun..we know that we have to let go sooner or later but would prefer it to be MUCH later lol!!! trust is the key word, you've given her the right grounding and the rest is up to her, but I still gave their friends the good old once over and asked straight outright anything I wanted to know about them...over here in Australia, they can legally leave home at 16yrs, so we really had to tread carefully with ours, so as not to push them into a situation if they thought they had no freedom and would leave home....love them and trust them and hope that we have taught them well enough not to get themselves into a situation which could be trouble...hugs  |
Date: 10/17/2004 8:09:00 AM
From Authorid: 8184
I think that it all just depends on how mature the person is. My parents aren't too strict with me because I've shown some maturity and hang out with people who are mature. I'd say 15 or 16 is good.  |
Date: 10/17/2004 9:46:00 AM
From Authorid: 59418
I'm 15, and i like to do my own thing too..I'm allowed out at weekends but not too late unless i tell my folks well in advance...some people think my parents are too strict though....i dont know..  |
Date: 10/17/2004 12:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 4144
I have a 20 year old and i know exactly how you feel! Man, I hate kids!! As far as what age other kids are doing whatever, don't worry about it. Believe me when i tell you some people could care less about their kids and let them run wild. Only you know your daughter and only you can decide if she is mature enough to go out without you and do what she's supposed to do. i didn't let mind date til 16. she started whining at 14 but i didn't give in. i knew if i caved on that i would be expected to cave on other stuff. i do think that every teen on the earth should have a cell phone if at all possible. that way they can be in contact with 911 should the need come up. and you can get in touch with them (and bug the crap out of them!!). i just had strict rules with my cell when i gave it to my daughter. no giving the number out to friends and always answer the phone when i call. no gabbing for no reason. make or take a call and keep it short and to the point. anytime my daughter went over time she had to pay the difference. that happened about 3 times! one day when the bill came and she was $45.00 over. i just asked if air was worth that to her!! she didn't do that anymore! as for riding with the other kids i would make sure the others have had their license for a while. and make sure your daughter understands that she is to wear her seatbelt at all times. NO EXCUSES! and remind her that all boys are BAD and she must avoid them no matter what! (it's worth a shot!) good luck!  |
Date: 10/17/2004 1:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 7574
As I get older, I get less freedom. My mom is really suspicious of everything I do, even though I have nothing to hide. Sometimes I do keep things personal, even though it's not a big deal to me, just because you need to keep some things to yourself. She's just overly nosy. I really have too many examples to list. I think it comes from her family though, her mom was a widow and was really protective. My dad on the other hand comes from a family where his parents let him do basically whatever they want, within reason. My mom thinks I do drugs and whatever else, but I don't. I don't think she knows how good she has it. I like my grandma's way of parenting. Come home by 11, or call me. It took me hours of begging to let my mom go to a football game only 10 minutes from my house. Sigh. College...Can't wait. I know I'm going to be an "18er" as I like to call them...One of the teens that goes crazy at 18, when they have their freedom because their parents contained them for so long. I'm not a bad kid, I'm very mature and I've always made good judgements...My mom just doesn't understand.  |
Date: 10/17/2004 1:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 42464
14 or 15 I was much younger but I was also way more mature then a lot of teenagers are, there are some I wouldn't let out of my sight for 10 seconds.
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Date: 10/17/2004 3:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 58809
The most important things are MATURITY, RESPONSIBILITY, and TRUST. I've found that my friends who've broken ( r proved otherwise) that they lack these 3 characteristics have gotten less freedom from their parents. 15 is a good age to start "letting go." I remember doing things with my friends from a younger age, maybe 12 or 13--but with parental supervision. 15 was the age where I began to get dropped off at movies, the mall, dances, etc. Then again, I never gave my parents reason to doubt me. THEN AGAIN, I'm very cunning ( gasp! What??! lol), but they really DON'T have anything to worry about. I would never do anything that would give them reason to be ashamed of me. So, your daughter is at the age where it's time she does her "own thing." I know cell phones are expensive...my friend used to call/still does call from my cell when we go out to "check in". I didn't/don't mind. I doubt her friends will mind as well. I'm 18 now ( over the hill in teendom, I guess)...so I feel old talking about this, since I do my "own thing" now. Just wait till ya gotta let her go to college! =D  |
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Date: 10/17/2004 6:49:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 14780
To all of you that commented..Thank YOU! You have gave me ideas and very good advice I must add. I do remember my parents being strict with me and to an extent I did things I should not have..I really should not base things on what I did at that age...LOL....again, thanks! |
Date: 10/18/2004 7:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 62915
Well I'm a bit late but I had a lot of freedom from a young age.. about 12. My mum trusted me and had the philosphy with boys that she would rather me be at home doing stuff and in a safe environment than out in a park or bush. I never had an age of when I could date but here in NZ a lot of people don't. i was very mature for my age and although I did experiment with alcohol and a little bit of marijuana I never went overboard and it nev er lasted for long. I have never been in trouble so for me what my Mum did worked. I don't think you can stopcertain situations from arising but as long as you trust she will make the right descision or confide in you if things go sour you should be fine :) Ghost-Chick  |
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Date: 11/8/2004 8:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 62951
It completely depends on their level of maturity and comfort in difficult situations. I've been on my own since I was 17, I am 21 now and very mature and capable because I have a wonderful mother who taught my very young wot the world is like. I started doing things on my own when I was 11 years old, staying at friends houses and wot not. I made a lot of mistakes in my life but my mother always showed me that the best thing you can do is pick yourself back up and do the right thing by you. If you trust her and make sure she knows you trust her then 9 times out of 10 she will not want to break that trust. Like I said, I have been on my own since I was 17 but my mother still calls me "babes". I will always be her baby even tho I am entirely self-sufficient. And I couldnt have asked for a greater thing than trust from her. It kept me from doing many things. Sorry I kind of rambled there, haha, hope it helped. `Amanduh` |
Date: 5/9/2005 3:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 56297
I started getting my freedome (getting to go wherever as long as my mom knew where, with who, and wut time i was going to be back..and i had to have my cellphone incase of emergency) at 13, at 13 i started going to the mall and to the movies with friends, at 14 i started going to teen dance clubs and parties, and now im also 15 and i still go to teen dance clubs, parties, and i go riding around with friends. But I know not to drink or do drugs.  |
Date: 6/1/2005 10:45:00 AM
From Authorid: 49536
i am katshos daughter and im 16 now! i have a little freedom now so i am happier! gosh this is an old post! i just like reading posts about me that my mom does!  |
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Date: 7/30/2006 10:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 7574
Haha, my mom's still overprotective, but she's getting much better. |
