Date: 9/28/2004 4:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 58553
I had an ex that had female friends while we were married and it caused problem. Its one thing to have friends like coworkers and such but its another to have a friend of the opposite sex and be married and to go out with them while your spouse is not around. I think its wrong and disrespectful even if nothing happens between them. But if someone else you knew saw them together also then they would think something was up. I just think it is wrong. I would never do it.
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Date: 9/28/2004 4:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 62146
both my perents have friends of the oposite sex. and I have male friends who I have never gone further with. trust me it is posible for people of the oposite sex to be friends in some cases people acctaully get along better with the oposite sex.  |
Date: 9/28/2004 4:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 27583
to all of the above i would have to answer yes , i and my wife have friends together and seperatly , this is the part of a relationship that would be known as trust... without trust there is no happiness and it is true that some ruin this trust but if there is true love in a relationship then trusting your better half comes easy. we both have our seporate friends from before we met and are comforitable knowing that we still talk to them quite frequently. i have met many new friends here at usm that i have traveled to meet and my wife trusts me 100% knowing that i joke around with others but know that there is a line that can not be crossed and would not be crossed. all my life of 54 years i have had just friends and remained that way so in answer to your question yes i do believe that it is possible for people to be just friends.. once trust is broken it is never truly mended so would it be worth the risk? . i hope this answers youe questions. wooden nickel  |
Date: 9/28/2004 4:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 46069
my husband has a few female friends.. some where friends before , and some became friends after we got married. It hasnt caused any problems. Its all a matter of trust. When we got togther, he was in college. He was the only man in his class. When he started working, he was the only man in his department. If I was the jealous type, then our relationship would have been doomed. But here we are going on our 12th happy year of marriage.  |
Date: 9/28/2004 5:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 18527
I don't think my husband has any really close female friends, but the majority of my close friends are male, in fact, our roommate is my best friend from Middle/High School, who is now good friends with my husband. We all get along beautifully :P  |
Date: 9/28/2004 5:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 62876
I am around men and women all day long, and I do have a few male friends. There is a lot of flirting that goes on between the men and women that I hang around with, and there is a fine line between going too far. As for me, everyone knows that I am happily married and that I would never do anything to harm that. It is all about TRUST, commitments and personal choices...HipChik  |
Date: 9/28/2004 5:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 4144
my husband is too busy to keep up with his male friends! i have friends of all kinds, male, female, human, non-human!! my husband could care less if i spend time with my friends or go places with them. male or female he knows i'm not sleeping with them. and i don't care what other people say or think if they see us out because it only matters what we think. i had one male friend that i hadn't seen in six months show up one day and we went shopping! we've done that before. his wife hates to shop and my husband hates it too! normally , i hate it too but it's different when you're going to sam's club!!  |
Date: 9/28/2004 6:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 53360
i have a male freind who i had been freinds with for almost 2 years before i met hubby. our relationship is and always has been plutonic. when me and hubby met, he was uncomfortable with us being freinds, so little by little i quit talking to my friend. and over the years i have let hubby know how it mad me feel that he made me turn my back on a guy who would have never turned his back on me. i saw the guy in walmart last month after 4 years of not seeing or speaking to each other and he was thrilled to see me. he wondered what ever happened to me. i told hubby i had seen him at the store and he asked if we got each others contact info..we did, and he says hes cool with it. i also have another male freind, who is also a freind of hubbys. i have hung out with him solo and with hubby. i dont see anything wrong with it. now hubby doesnt have any female friends..except for his best friends wife.  |
Date: 9/28/2004 6:28:00 AM
From Authorid: 25390
My husband has a couple of female friends before met. I have many male friends as well. Most of his friends that he knew he doesn't really talk to anymore since we met, but that was his decision, not mine. I still talk to many of my male friends, but he knows exactly who they are and what we talk about. It's just a matter of trust. I trust him to remain only friends with females and he trusts me to only remain friends with males.  |
Date: 9/28/2004 8:06:00 AM
From Authorid: 34487
My husband had many female and male friends before we married. After we were serious and newly married, they dwindled away. The female friends that were friends that he previously dated...were not appropriate friends any longer. As for the female friends he had from work that were platonic...he's still friends with them and I'm fine with it. He doesn't hang out with them, other than work though...we live a sheltered and busy family life. As for his highschool and college buddies...most of them are married or serious with someone and have distanced themselves by their own doing and choice. As for my general opinion on males and females being "just friends"...it's possible but usually someone has more serious feelings and intentions that being totally platonic at some point. There is generally, too much temptation if they spend time alone.  |
Date: 9/28/2004 8:08:00 AM
From Authorid: 30747
To my knowledge, my husband does not have any female friends. I would like to say I wouldn't mind if he did because I trust him but I've been in this position so many times and got burned because I trusted too much. I certainly wouldn't stop him from having the friends he chooses but it would be hard for me to be comfortable with it. I, on the other hand, have nothing but male friends at the moment in real life. That's because I work in a male dominated scope of work. I also remained friends with exes. I totally believe a man and women can be "just friends". I lived with my best friend, a guy, for a year...yes, he is straight. *smiles*  |
Date: 9/28/2004 9:11:00 AM
From Authorid: 62401
My husband has a female co worker. They work in an office alone. She calls him her second husband but it doesnt really cause problems. We all hang out (with her and her husband) sometimes and my hubby and her never hang out alone.  |
Date: 9/28/2004 12:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
its a matter of trust and insecurity. If you are insecure it will cause problems, if you are secure in the knowledge that your love is strong then there is no problem. Jealousy is ugly and unworthy.  |
Date: 9/28/2004 2:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 35720
I have about 15 close guy friends and 3 close girl friends. I just get along better with guys.. but I look at NONE of my guy friends "that way" and it'd be pretty sad if my boyfriend thought that..  |
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Date: 9/28/2004 2:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 35720
But, I would get jealous if he was constantly hanging out with a bunch of girls.. eh I dunno, I guess it's all about trust. |
Date: 9/28/2004 6:08:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 18928
Wow! Thanks for all the great replies!!! You all made excellent points.  |
Date: 9/29/2004 3:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
Woodie answered what I wanted to say hun....its about trust...pure simple trust...hugs  |
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Date: 9/29/2004 7:17:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 18928
((hugs)) |
Date: 4/21/2005 12:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 13283
Okay this is a major marital problem for me and my wife . She has/had male friends while I wasnt allowed to have any . I think she wanted that to be a condition of our marraige . Well later I found out she was having lunch with them AND getting expensive gifts , so I started to have female friends . Not just ones online . She gets mad jealous coz I have a ton of female friends and she cannot handle it . She accuses me of sleeping with some of them and at parties those gals get too friendly with me . My lady has a problem handling it , but what is good for the goose is also good for the gander . I trust her so she should trust mes . Razzy aka  |
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Date: 4/22/2005 4:09:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 18928
I agree Raz but sometimes our minds do wander. :-) |
Date: 4/22/2005 10:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 28946
I like Wooden Nickel and Zema's answers. I never minded my men having female friends but a spouse can see when the friendship starts crossing over the line. I never fought for a man -- or over a man but have been cheated on to many times to ever trust again.  |
