The first time I met my wife, she was an intense aerobics instructor at my health club, and I was an out-of-shape new member. After a grueling workout, I gasped, "This is really getting me toned up." She looked me up and down. Feeling self-conscious, I added, "Big men run in my family." Raising an eyebrow, she said, "Apparently, not enough."
================
The following ad in The Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls. " SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in our pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call XXX-XXXX and ask for Daisy." Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever. Men are so easy. . . . . .
===============
The four most important things for a plumber to learn: Hot on the left, cold on the right. CRAP flows downhill. Payday is Friday. Don't chew your fingernails.
===============
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like this before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, little Sally spoke up and said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead."
================
The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."
==================
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study to determine why married women love Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is: Not Now.
You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click hereScroll all the way down to read replies.Show all stories by Author:  27583 ( Click here )
Spring is coming |
