Don't you ever laugh as a hearse goes by and other creepy stuff (<>..<>)

As a kid I always liked to rehearse morbid rhymes and songs. My favorites were "Don't laugh when a hearse goes by" and "There was an old woman all skin and bones" But these kind of rhymes and songs were not a recent thing, some of these rhymes have been passed down since the middle ages.

Here are the lyrics as I learned it:

Don't ever laugh as the hearse goes by,

For you may be the next to die,

They put you in a big black box,

Then cover you up with dirt and rocks,

All goes well for about a week,

Then your coffin begins to leak,

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,

The worms play Pinochle on your snout,

They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,

They eat the jelly between your toes,

Your eyes fall out, and your teeth decay,

A rotten end to a lovely day.

That ^ being the newest version originated from this song from WWI most popular in elementary schools. The one below that is the earliest know version that originated in the middle ages in Europe. It might sound better and rhyme in a different language, but the translation sounds really primitive:

"Did you ever think as a hearse goes by

That some of these days you must surely die?

They'll take you away in a big black hack;

They'll take you away but the won't bring you back,

And your eyes drop out and your teeth fall in ,

And the worms crawl over your mouth and chin;

And the worms crawl out and the worms crawl in,

And your limbs drop off limb by limb."

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"A vicious worm lives in my backbone;

My eyes are dazed and very dim;

My guts rot out, and my hair is green,

My teeth grin very grimly."

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There are also several other variations:

If you ever laugh,

When a hearse goes by,

Then you will be,

The next to die,

They wrap you up,

In a bloody sheet,

And drop you six feet Underneath.

The worms crawl in, The worms crawl out.

They play pinochle On your snout.

A big, black spider

From Paradise Goes in your liver

And out your eyes.

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Did you ever think when a hearse goes by,

That you may be the next to die?

They take you out to the family plot,

And there you wither, decay, and rot.

They wrap you up in a big white sheet,

And then they bury you down six-feet deep.

And all goes well for a week or two,

And then things start to happen to you.

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,

The ants play pinochle on your snout!

One of the worms that's not so shy,

Crawls in one ear and out one eye.

They call their friends and their friends' friends, too,

They'll make a horrid mess of you!

And then your blood turns yellow-green,

And oozes out like whipping cream.

[Spoken] Darn, me without a spoon!

Your eyes fall in, your teeth fall out,

Your liver turns to sauerkraut.

So never laugh when a hearse goes by,

For you may be the next to die.

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Another one of my favorites is "There was an old woman all skin and bones" In Kindergarten the music teacher always played this song, but sometimes he made up his own lyrics to it.

There was an old woman all skin and bones,

Ooo, ooo-oo-ooo,

She lived down by the old graveyard all alone,

Ooo, ooo-oo-ooo,

One night she thought she'd take a walk,

Ooo, ooo-oo-ooo,

She walked down by the old graveyard,

Ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

She saw the bones a-layin' around,

Ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

She thought she'd sweep up the old graveyard,

Ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

She went to the closet to get a broom and BOO!!!

At the last part you scream. It's even better on a piano, because then you hit the keys all of a sudden. I have the sheet music to this song; you can find it in books like Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. (the sheet music goes along with both of the lyric selections, but you have to play it in a different order)

Here is another version of it:

There was an old woman all skin and bones,

Who lived near the graveyard all alone, O-o o-o o-o!

She though she'd go to church one day,

To hear the parson preach and pray, O-o o-o o-o!

And when she came up to the church house stile,

She thought she'd stop and rest awhile, O-o o-o o-o!

When she came up to the door,

She thought she'd stop and rest some more, O-o o-o o-o!

But when she turned and looked around,

She saw a corpse upon the ground, O-o o-o o-o!

From it's nose down to it's chin,

The worms crawled out and the worms crawled in, O-o o-o o-o!

The woman to the preacher said,

"Shall I look like that when I am dead?" O-o o-o o-o!

The preacher to the woman said, "You'll look like that when you are dead!" AHHHHHHHH!

There isn't much information on this rhyme. But I'm guessing Leeds is some scary town, because in the Jersey Devil legend the creature is born in Leeds.

"A Man Who Lived in Leeds"

There was a man who lived in Leeds;

He filled his garden full of seeds.

And when the seeds began to grow,

It was like a garden filled with snow.

And when the snow began to melt,

It was like a ship without a belt.

And when the ship began to sail,

It was like a bird without a tail.

And when the bird began to fly,

It was like an eagle in the sky.

And when the sky began to roar,

It was like a lion at my door.

And when the door began to crack,

It was like a penknife in my back.

And when my back began to bleed--

I was DEAD, DEAD, DEAD INDEED!! (scream)

And of course my favorite dark poem of all "The Raven" by Edger Allen Poe (I almost have this memorized word for word LOL) Unfortunately it's way too long to post here, but I'm sure some of you are interested in reading his work. So here is a very good website, towards the middle of the page are all of his works where you select on and read it: http://www.poedecoder.com/Qrisse/

(<>..<>)Alien

It made me read.

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